Drawing 115
2008-02-08
I apologize for calling you here; I actually won't require your company's services. No, I've taken care of my home security needs myself, all by reducing the scope of concern to murder-by-smothering-with-a-pillow.
SECURITY MAN:
I'm not sure that's the—
MAN HOLDING PILLOW:
Being smothered by a pillow is the single most terrifying form of a home security breach, and thereby the only thing I'm bothering to safeguard against. (Pause) This here is the only pillow in the house. I've a bell strung upon it, which will throw me into a high state of alert, and thereby save my life. Add to this the hi-tech pillow detector I installed into the house's only doorway.
SECURITY MAN:
Well, okay, but—
MAN HOLDING PILLOW:
I know, I know. What if the intruder bypassed the detector and assembled the pillow inside the home? That's why I've successfully lobbied for onerous new state tariffs for linens and feathers.