Drawing 143

BOSS:
Douglas, take another letter: “Mr. Hogpepper… hi. This letter would be typed, except that my stupid assistant Douglas can't type anything, with his stupid hands—

DOUGLAS:
When you hired me, sir, you said that my inability to type was not an issue. After all, I can write 70 WPM longhand—

BOSS:
It's not an issue. I don't mind at all.

DOUGLAS:
It sounds like you mind.

BOSS:
No. (Pause) But I'll say, if I had your hands, I'd learn to type.

DOUGLAS:
Trust me, sir, it's quite impossible.

BOSS:
Do you want to trade hands, then?

DOUGLAS:
Trade hands?

BOSS:
Trade hands!

DOUGLAS:
…

BOSS:
If you're not willing to trade hands, Douglas, you have no right to talk!